I use to be able to write multiple articles in a day. The words just flowed effortlessly with thoughtfulness and humour as I pursued a natural, simpler life in Gravelbourg with the children at home.
Since then a lot has happened and I’m guessing it’s the collection of all of these events that has led to my lack of flow. I’ve had many opportunities to write and promote ourselves but it feels forced.
Today I’m contemplating why.
Yes, It could be the collection of events over the last three years. The major thing being the death of my dad as he was so vibrant and ready and excited to be a part of this. That with the breakdown of some relationships, the many many failures and times I let people down, the many demands and interruptions, the pressures and demands of keeping this going and the fear. Oh, the fear! It’s amazing how much it comes up and I have to work through it. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of letting people down. Fear of being misunderstood.
I see all this in me. I’m aware of it yet I minimize it because I k ow that everyone is going through their own struggles.
But we are all valid. We all want to share ourselves and our stories so here I go and will continue on. I’m so grateful for all the times someone has told me what this means to them. They may have no idea that their kind words were the confirmation I was needing. So many days I wonder if I’m doing good for people. I think about how to do better and be better. And many days the exhaustion takes over and I can’t even sit and do basic tasks.
I have a baby right now that wakes multiple times an hour every night. So a lot of my struggle is from lack of sleep. I’m excited to see myself return to full strength and energy.
I’ve had an amazing team to fall back on. They’ve kept things running when I was busy or too tired.
Thank you for listening to my stories and being here. I often wonder if the reason we are so tv obsessed is simply because humans love story telling. I wonder what would change if shared our stories more and if they were received with honest curiosity and loving support. ❤️