My feelings of overwhelm came to a peak last night. It had been mounting all week and then suddenly it just felt like too much so I stayed in the shower just letting the water pour over me for I don’t know how long.
Stress makes it very difficult to operate. It’s hard to think and make simple decisions never mind the big, important ones! So many people and bills and directions needed my attention and it just felt like it was more than I could handle.
I woke up this morning wondering how today would work with so much to do… Who will take care of customers? How would the children be taken care of? How would things get bagged and rooms ready for events and coolers stocked? And on and on… I care deeply about this whole endeavour and I want it done well. I want people to understand that the products we bring in are sacred to us. They have stories and they enrich the community for the people that buy them and the ones that sell them too. So when I start fearing it won’t work… I get upset. And then it works. And it feels like magic. People start appearing and they begin doing what needs to be done. Customers come in a steady trickle that humbles me to my core. They comment on how they love this or that and sometimes they tell me that these foods have enhanced their quality of life.
A lady today brought in some menstrual products to donate for women up north and a profound realization hit me…
even when I am at my worst, the village shows up and continues on. It reminded me of the drum circles I get to experience here every Monday night through WACA’s family night.
I’ve noticed that if the drum circle is strong, it will carry someone that is off beat. Like me. This week, the village has shown up and we haven’t missed a beat. ❤️
I’ll be back soon and ready to carry those that need it.
WACA stands for Wakamow Aboriginal Community Association which is in Moose Jaw.